73 Dumbest Would You Rather Questions

We've all been there, right? Stuck in a car, at a sleepover, or just trying to kill time, and someone busts out the "Would You Rather" game. But not all questions are created equal. Some are super thought-provoking, but then there are the truly bizarre, the hilariously nonsensical, and the downright pointless. These are the Dumbest Would You Rather Questions, and they're a special kind of fun.

What Makes a Would You Rather Question "Dumb"?

So, what exactly are Dumbest Would You Rather Questions? They’re the kind of questions that make you scratch your head and wonder why anyone would even think of them. They often involve situations that are so weird or impossible that choosing between the two options feels like a ridiculous game in itself. They might be silly, gross, or just plain confusing. The goal isn't always to find a "right" answer, but to see the funny reactions and the creative ways people try to justify their impossible choices.

These questions are popular for a few reasons. Firstly, they're a fantastic icebreaker because they force people to engage and explain their thinking. The importance of these questions lies in their ability to spark conversation and reveal personalities in unexpected ways. Secondly, they're just plain entertaining. They can lead to:

Hilarious debates
Unexpected alliances (or rivalries!)
Moments of pure absurdity
A chance to escape reality for a bit

Dumbest Would You Rather Questions are used in many ways. They can be:

A casual game to pass the time
A way to challenge friends to think outside the box
A source of content for social media challenges
A tool for improvisational comedy

Super Gross, But You Have to Choose

Would you rather have to eat a spider every day for a year, or drink a glass of your own sweat every day for a year?
Would you rather have to lick every doorknob you touch, or have to sneeze glitter every time you get surprised?
Would you rather have to wear socks filled with pudding for a week, or have to eat your boogers with a tiny spoon?
Would you rather have your nose run with mayonnaise, or your ears sweat mustard?
Would you rather have to gargle with pickle juice every morning, or eat a spoonful of earwax before bed?
Would you rather have permanently sticky hands, or permanently smelly feet?
Would you rather have to eat everything you touch for a day, or have everything you touch turn into mush?
Would you rather have to talk like a pirate all the time, or have to sing everything you say opera-style?
Would you rather have a permanent smell of rotten eggs, or have a constant taste of dirt in your mouth?
Would you rather have to eat worms or slugs?
Would you rather have to drink a gallon of milk in one sitting, or eat a whole jar of pickled onions?
Would you rather have to live in a house made of mold, or a house made of cockroaches?
Would you rather have to fight a shark with a toothpick, or a bear with a pool noodle?
Would you rather have to wear a diaper for the rest of your life, or have to wear a helmet made of cheese?
Would you rather have your fingernails grow like ramen noodles, or your hair grow like spaghetti?
Would you rather have to swim in a pool of gravy, or a pool of chunky soup?
Would you rather have to smell like a skunk every Tuesday, or have a constant itch you can never scratch?
Would you rather have to eat a raw onion every day, or a whole lemon every day?
Would you rather have to have your teeth cleaned with a toothbrush made of pubic hair, or your hair brushed with a comb made of toenails?
Would you rather have to constantly sweat butter, or constantly cry cheese?

Totally Pointless But Still a Choice

Would you rather be able to talk to furniture, or be able to understand what squirrels are saying?
Would you rather have every car horn honk when you walk by, or have every bird sing your theme song?
Would you rather be able to fly but only three inches off the ground, or be able to run but only at a snail's pace?
Would you rather have a permanent unibrow that glows in the dark, or have your ears constantly wiggle like a dog's?
Would you rather have to wear shoes on your hands, or gloves on your feet?
Would you rather be able to control the weather but only for five minutes a day, or be able to teleport but only to the nearest bathroom?
Would you rather have to answer every question with a song, or have to dance every time you're excited?
Would you rather have to wear a clown wig every day, or a top hat that's too small?
Would you rather be able to turn invisible but only when no one is looking, or be able to read minds but only of people who are thinking about the color beige?
Would you rather have to always walk backwards, or always hop like a bunny?
Would you rather have a personal rain cloud follow you everywhere, or a personal disco ball that follows you everywhere?
Would you rather be able to speak every language but only whisper, or be able to shout in every language but only in gibberish?
Would you rather have to sneeze out confetti, or burp out bubbles?
Would you rather have to wear a sign that says "I'm Awesome" at all times, or have to wear a sign that says "Ask Me Anything"?
Would you rather be able to change the channel on any TV with your mind, or be able to make any light flicker with your mind?
Would you rather have to communicate only through interpretive dance, or only through dramatic sighs?
Would you rather have your shadow be a different person's shadow, or have your reflection be a different person's reflection?
Would you rather have to wear a hat made of live worms, or a scarf made of live snakes?
Would you rather be able to perfectly fold any piece of paper, or be able to perfectly tie any knot?
Would you rather have to wear sunglasses indoors at all times, or a cape that's too long?

What If You Had to Live With This? (The Weird Kind)

Would you rather have a pet dragon that breathes marshmallows, or a pet unicorn that cries glitter?
Would you rather have to sleep in a bed made of popcorn, or a bed made of LEGOs?
Would you rather have to work as a professional mime, or a professional human statue?
Would you rather have to live in a house that slowly shrinks every day, or a house that slowly fills with water?
Would you rather have to wear a suit made of cheese, or a hat made of live hummingbirds?
Would you rather have to communicate with your family through carrier pigeons, or through interpretive dance?
Would you rather have to eat every meal with chopsticks that are on fire, or drink every beverage with a straw that's also a snake?
Would you rather have to have your belly button as your mouth, or your mouth as your belly button?
Would you rather have to live in a giant teacup, or a giant thimble?
Would you rather have to permanently smell like old gym socks, or have to constantly hum the "Baby Shark" song?
Would you rather have to have your toes replaced with hot dogs, or your fingers replaced with broccoli florets?
Would you rather have to communicate with aliens by yodeling, or by interpretive dancing?
Would you rather have to live in a treehouse that's constantly on fire (but you're immune to the flames), or a submarine that's constantly sinking (but you can breathe water)?
Would you rather have to wear a helmet made of a giant pickle, or boots made of live snails?
Would you rather have to have your voice sound like a chipmunk, or have your laugh sound like a hyena?
Would you rather have to wear a dress made of raw bacon, or a suit made of live ants?
Would you rather have to travel everywhere by unicycle, or by pogo stick?
Would you rather have to sleep with one eye open and one eye closed, or with your eyes facing opposite directions?
Would you rather have to paint everything you touch with polka dots, or with stripes?
Would you rather have to have a personal cloud that follows you around and rains tiny rubber ducks, or a personal rainbow that follows you around and plays annoying jingles?

The "Why Would You Even Ask That?" Category

Would you rather have to fight a hundred duck-sized horses, or one horse-sized duck?
Would you rather have to eat your own hair, or your pet's hair?
Would you rather have to sneeze uncontrollably for 24 hours straight, or hiccup uncontrollably for 24 hours straight?
Would you rather have to live in a world where everyone speaks in riddles, or a world where everyone communicates through interpretive dance?
Would you rather have to wear a giant banana costume for the rest of your life, or a tiny banana costume that fits just your thumb?
Would you rather have to have your hands replaced with lobster claws, or your feet replaced with flippers?
Would you rather have to live in a house made entirely of cheese, or a house made entirely of jello?
Would you rather have to bark like a dog every time you see a cat, or meow like a cat every time you see a dog?
Would you rather have to wear pants made of sandpaper, or a shirt made of barbed wire?
Would you rather have to have a third eye in the back of your head, or a third ear on your elbow?
Would you rather have to talk backwards for the rest of your life, or only be able to sing show tunes?
Would you rather have to have your toenails painted bright pink every morning, or your fingernails painted bright green every morning?
Would you rather have to live in a world where gravity is half as strong, or where time moves twice as fast?
Would you rather have to communicate with aliens using only charades, or using only interpretive dance?
Would you rather have to have a permanent smell of wet dog, or have to constantly have a fly buzzing around your head?
Would you rather have to wear a hat that's constantly trying to escape, or shoes that are constantly trying to run away?
Would you rather have to fight a giant cockroach with a spoon, or a swarm of angry bees with a fly swatter?
Would you rather have to have your tongue replaced with a hot dog, or your nose replaced with a carrot?
Would you rather have to live in a world where everyone wears socks on their hands, or gloves on their feet?
Would you rather have to have a permanent feeling of needing to sneeze, or a permanent feeling of needing to cough?

Superpowers with Awful Side Effects

Would you rather have the power to fly, but you can only fly backwards and uncontrollably?
Would you rather have the power to turn invisible, but you also become deaf when you're invisible?
Would you rather have the power to read minds, but every time you do, you hear a loud, obnoxious honking sound?
Would you rather have super strength, but every time you use it, your teeth fall out?
Would you rather have the ability to teleport, but you always arrive naked and covered in glitter?
Would you rather have the power to control the weather, but every time you do, you get a terrible head cold?
Would you rather be able to talk to animals, but they all complain constantly and are very rude?
Would you rather have the power of super speed, but you can only run in circles?
Would you rather be able to breathe underwater, but you can only breathe stagnant swamp water?
Would you rather have the power to freeze time, but every time you do, you age ten years?
Would you rather have the power to shapeshift, but you can only turn into incredibly ugly and embarrassing creatures?
Would you rather have super hearing, but you can only hear the sound of someone chewing loudly?
Would you rather have the power to heal yourself, but every time you do, you lose a memory?
Would you rather be able to predict the future, but all your predictions are about incredibly mundane and boring events?
Would you rather have the power to levitate, but you can only levitate two inches off the ground and you wobble constantly?
Would you rather have the ability to talk to plants, but they only ever say "water me" or "more sun"?
Would you rather have the power of super intelligence, but you can only think in extremely complex mathematical equations?
Would you rather be able to control electricity, but every time you do, you get a mild electric shock?
Would you rather have the power to create illusions, but all your illusions are of mildly annoying things like flies or a dripping faucet?
Would you rather have the ability to move objects with your mind, but they always move in the opposite direction you intended?

Food Fiascos

Would you rather eat a whole raw onion every day, or drink a gallon of pickle juice every day?
Would you rather have to eat only beige food for a month, or only spicy food for a month?
Would you rather have to eat every meal with a tiny spoon, or with oversized chopsticks?
Would you rather have to eat a live worm, or a bowl of very old, moldy cheese?
Would you rather have to eat everything you touch, or have everything you touch turn into a hot dog?
Would you rather have to eat a whole lemon with the rind, or a whole grapefruit with the seeds?
Would you rather have to drink your own sweat, or your best friend's tears?
Would you rather have to eat a sandwich made of dirt and grass, or a bowl of soup made of dirt and worms?
Would you rather have to eat a raw potato every day, or a raw broccoli stalk every day?
Would you rather have your favorite food taste like rotten eggs forever, or never be able to eat your favorite food again?
Would you rather have to eat a full plate of Brussels sprouts every day, or a full plate of liver and onions every day?
Would you rather have to eat a donut covered in toothpaste, or a pretzel dipped in wasabi?
Would you rather have to eat a bowl of insects, or a bowl of earwax?
Would you rather have to drink a gallon of milk in one sitting, or a gallon of prune juice in one sitting?
Would you rather have to eat a pizza with anchovies and jellybeans, or a salad with gummy bears and hot sauce?
Would you rather have to eat a single grape that has been dropped on the floor, or a single potato chip that has been licked by a dog?
Would you rather have to eat a hot dog filled with toothpaste, or a hamburger filled with soap?
Would you rather have to drink a glass of spoiled milk, or a glass of fizzy, old soda?
Would you rather have to eat a cookie that tastes like dirt, or a piece of cake that tastes like cardboard?
Would you rather have to eat a whole raw garlic clove every day, or a whole raw onion every day?

The "Can't Unsee" Scenarios

Would you rather have your nose permanently run with mayonnaise, or your ears constantly sweat cheese?
Would you rather have to wear a live chicken as a hat, or a live snake as a belt?
Would you rather have to fight a bear with a rubber chicken, or a swarm of bees with a feather duster?
Would you rather have your hands replaced with giant, fuzzy teddy bear paws, or your feet replaced with tiny, dancing clown shoes?
Would you rather have to communicate only through dolphin sounds, or only through kazoo solos?
Would you rather have to wear a swimsuit made of sandpaper, or a tuxedo made of bubble wrap?
Would you rather have your reflection be a cartoon character, or your shadow be a disco ball?
Would you rather have to sneeze out colorful paint, or burp out confetti?
Would you rather have to have your belly button replaced with a tiny, working toilet, or have your mouth replaced with a gumball machine?
Would you rather have to sing opera every time you stub your toe, or tap dance every time you get excited?
Would you rather have to live in a house that is constantly rotating, or a house that is constantly upside down?
Would you rather have to wear sunglasses made of actual ants, or a hat made of live earthworms?
Would you rather have your voice sound like a broken record, or your laughter sound like a herd of stampeding elephants?
Would you rather have to communicate with your boss through interpretive dance, or with your parents through interpretive mime?
Would you rather have to wear shoes on your hands and gloves on your feet, or socks on your head and a hat on your feet?
Would you rather have to have your hair grow like spaghetti, or your fingernails grow like ramen noodles?
Would you rather have to fight a thousand tiny dragons, or one giant, very cuddly kitten?
Would you rather have to wear a backpack filled with live frogs, or a fanny pack filled with live, noisy crickets?
Would you rather have your eyes replaced with googly eyes, or your ears replaced with trumpet bells?
Would you rather have to communicate with your crush using only fart noises, or interpretive dance about food?

At the end of the day, the Dumbest Would You Rather Questions are all about embracing the silly. They're a reminder that sometimes, the best way to have fun is to not take things too seriously and to dive headfirst into the wonderfully ridiculous. So next time you're looking for a way to liven things up, pull out some of these brain-bending, laugh-inducing dilemmas, and see where the absurdity takes you!